Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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