i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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