No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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