we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
