Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
