When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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