I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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