Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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