So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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