great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
