He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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