Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
