We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
