I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
