wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
