help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
