hell yes lets make some ravioli
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
