I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
