also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
