he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
