I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
my penis made a compromise with my morals
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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