Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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