The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
