I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
