dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
