Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
