thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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