I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
