i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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