What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
