he wants to bone in the snuggie
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
They are going to name an STD after you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
