In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
