Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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