if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
