The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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