She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
