the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
