i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize