He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
