I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
