I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
