I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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