All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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