I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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