I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
