Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm bleeding and have questions
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
