Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
