dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
