i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
