I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I didn't notice because vodka
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
