I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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