Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They have beer where we have blood.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
