i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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