It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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