we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize