And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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