You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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