Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
