I'm gonna have a badass scar
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Randomize
