..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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