I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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