planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
birth control should be required to get into college
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
