good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
