So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
