a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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