I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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