cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
