this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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