mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
